Beginning Hebrews

In recent weeks, I have begun a new series of talks in which I am doing something that I am not used to doing.  Instead of finding a topic, and searching for scripture about that topic, I chose a book, and we are working our way through it, a chapter, section, verse at a time.

I got the idea from our pastor.  He does an incredible job of this.  Since I have been on staff at SCC, he has been working through 2 Corinthians, giving due diligence to the Word and not ignoring the minutest of details.  This is something I wish to do better.  So, to start, I decided to simply do it.

Personally, it has been rather incredible at how the word of God is clear and concise in its message.  Especially looking at Hebrews.  The author takes foundations of the Jewish faith, and displays how Christ is greater than those things.   First, Angels.  Second, Moses, Third, the High Priest.  Methodically displaying the superiority of our Savior above these things.  I always knew these things about Christ, but never read about them so plainly in Scripture.  It’s awesome.

But, I have been stuck on how Jesus is leading us (believers) like Moses lead the Israelites.  Out of captivity, in our case to Sin, and into God’s Rest, for the Israelite the Promised Land.  It made me think of how the Israelites have never once fully possessed all that God had promised them.  How maybe they missed the greater point.  I firmly believe that God is leading us to a much greater place than the Promised Land.  That God is leading us to a final Sabbath Day of rest.  When the great work that He is doing is finished, we will know what it means to rest.  To be fulfilled.  To know longer be pursuing anything.  Just being, in our God.

Hebrews, so far, has been full of this.  How Jesus was fully God and fully Man, and how he has made all believers “children of God” and therefore heirs to this promise of arriving at “rest”.  And how, like Moses, he is leading the journey to the “Promised Land”, that is, ushering in the Kingdom of God.

I am so looking forward to delving into more of Hebrews, and discovering more about Jesus Christ, who he is, and what he is up to!

 

New Kids On The Block and the Old Ladies Who Like Them…

Ok, so we all know my distaste in general for the TODAY show on NBC.  It’s 4 hours worth of garbage that consumes the airwaves from 8 to 12.  Even worse, is they gave KathyLee Gifford a job.  With Hoda Kotb (pronounced – Kot-Bee, no I’m not joking), Kathy Lee gets to make money and make awkward crude statements for an hour.  It’s not entertaining, its shocking.  And my wife, well she doesn’t for for the Kathy Lee and Hoda hour, but the three hours prior, she is all about.  So, this morning, at her sister’s house, I awoke to the Train Wreck coated in feces that is the TODAY show.

But, this day was different.  Because not only did I have to listen to Matt Lauer (who is an idiot) and Meredith Viera, I got to hear the silky pop tunes of the once iconic New Kids On The Block. Da Da Da Dirty Dancin’.  It’s Crazy, I’m like Swayze. No kidding, actual words from the song.

Now, they are terrible.  I have made it known that I am not in to mainstream pop music.  But, as a Youth Pastor, I take pride in knowing whats going on.  But, these “New” Kids, have nothing to do with the generation that I work with. This was evident by the near forty year olds that packed the outdoor area of the TODAY show.  Mouthing all the new songs as well as sceaming all the old ones.  It was the most awesomely futile thing I have ever seen.  Grown men acting like boys to stay “hip”, “young”, “successful” yet only being able to draw these ladies who nearly twenty years ago, held “I Love Joey”  posters.  These “New Kids” are now past 40, for sure.  I think the youngest is prolly 36.  It was hilarious.

So, I just wanted to say thank you to the TODAY show, for showing me what it looks like to not let go.  Its cool for a little while, but eventually, the comb-over has got to go.

P.S.  Donnie Wahlberg, I had mad respect for you because of Band of Brothers.  But, the fact that you are wearing a hat to cover the male patterned baldness we all struggle with due to age, hurts your street cred.  And your Man Cred.  Shame.

 

It has been far too long…

To the lone person who checks my blog on a regular basis, I am sorry.  To those of you that are seeing this for the first time, I say welcome.  To everyone else.  Um… hi.

So, last time I got on here I told you about this new amazing job that I was getting.  Well, I have that job, and it is awesome.

I basically, over the last three months, have been reacquainting myself with the life of ministry.  The fantastic thing, is that its all I do.  And, the even more fantastic thing, is that I have been blessed with the best youth leaders in all of North America.  They seriously are just real “go-getters”.  I say, “Do this” and they do.  I ask for ideas, I get seven.  If you don’t believe me.  Check this.

Ambassador Youth Ministries

First off, three months ago, we didn’t even have a legitimate webpage on the CHURCH website.  Now, we have our own place we call home.  I have been blessed ridiculously.  Which brings me to my point.

This time last year, I had been brooding, for a month, over the possibility of working in Youth Ministry.  I had a perfectly decent job, a 6-month old, a stay-at-home wife, and a load of discontent with my place in life.  My family didn’t have enough money to pay our bills.  We lived on our savings for a year.  I basically said to God,  “I will wait on You. I know you are good, and I know that this is the plan you have for me.”  So, I did.  I waited, almost a full year, on God to come through.  It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  I was putting everything in my life on the line. If God didn’t come through, it was all going to be over for us.  I don’t know what would have happened.  But it also doesn’t matter.  Because God, works all things for the good of those who love him, AND HAVE BEEN CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSES.(Romans 8:28)

There is no reason, no reason at all, to not believe that God has called you to a specific place, a specific job, and a specific purpose.  Why should God not reveal to us what he wants us to do?  He gives us desires, after His will, that will fulfill us far beyond anything that we could imagine.  I believe, wholeheartedly, that I have been called, to this place, this time, this function in life.  And I can think of no other place I would rather be.

 

Exciting news travels slowly for me…

So, fantastically, and God-is-amazingly, I am the unofficial youth pastor at Suburban Christian Church. Pending a congregational vote, which, from what I have been told and experienced, is usually a formality.

I can’t begin to describe how excited I am. This is the dream for me. Everything in my life starts and ends with being at this church. God is so good.

So, I am gaming up for the big move, the transition from civilian to whatever. I have really grown to appreciate my current job, with the CSB, but it left me yearning to be spreading the gospel as my vocation, and God has provided the opportunity to do just that.

I am most excited about developing, and reinvigorating, alot of the relationship that I have, not just with the Kids, but people in the church as well. Especially those that are in their 18-25ish range that have fallen into the category that lots of churches are missing. I am also, very much stoked, about giving back to the community down here. or there. Whatever.

So, I’m stoked. God is good. And I have not the foggiest idea what happens next. Here’s to God. May His be the Glory.

 

Blogging is really hard to do…

I have a huge, hugely huge, weekend coming up.  I am interviewing for the Youth Pastor position at my home church in Virginia Beach.  So stoked, you can’t even believe it.  So, prayers are greatly appreciated.

I also have been having a really hard time of thinking of things to write about.  I love writing, but have recently hit a dry spell as far as thinking goes.  Hopefully I will get it going soon.

On another note, my daughter, Lily, is almost a year old.  Holy Crap.  It was just a little while ago where I was freaking out about the idea of being a father, now, she is almost a year old.  Crazy.

Hopefully I will be writing more soon.

 

You know those State Farm Commercials….

You know, where you’ve spent the last 7 years acquiring two degrees.  Where ”who am I?”  meets “where am I?”  and “How did I get here?”  You know, where the guy looks at the camera and stands on a red dot and says “I’m there”.  Well, “I’m there”  with my two degrees, three years of experience, one wife, one child, and a handful of questions.  If only State Farm could answer my questions.

I have know idea how I got here.  Like, when you are in high school, and you are asked to envision your life for the next like 10-15 years, I never imagined this part of my life.  I never envisioned getting here.   I was always somewhere else, actually, no place in particular.  I don’t think I actually believed I would ever leave Virginia Beach.  I don’t really think I ever thought I would have a family, or a 9-5 (well actually 11-7) job.  I didn’t envision debt, financial problems, questions, or realities.  I just thought I would get “there” when I got “there” and know where I was.  Well, here I am, and I have no clue how or why I am here!

On another note,  the world is getting worse.  Economies are falling apart, and I think at one point we may see the Tribulation Force.  In Kirk Cameron we trust, right?!

 

On Yearning…

There exists, I believe, within all of us to accomplish something great within our lives.  I don’t think this is terribly uncommon, but I think it much less suppressed in my life.

When I met Christ, I didn’t have a dream.  I didn’t have a great vision for what my future was to hold.  Honestly, I didn’t have much thought past high school.  But gradually, as I journeyed forward, as I made mistakes, as I questioned God, I found a deep rooted desire to live in utter abandon in the grasp of God.  I can say that I desire this more than anything else in my life; to simply be able to let go and run straight for God.

I get sick to my stomach everytime I think about what I am not doing.  When I have the opportunity to be blatantly honest with myself, I feel like vomiting, because I am disgusted with myself and my inability to let go.  There is are incredible things waiting for me beyond myself.  I just can’t let go of me.

I think this is because of the human ability to be the most self absorbed thing within each individuals existence.  I think that I have friends or family that are ridiculously into themselves, but when I get into it, I am way more into me than they are into themselves.  Is Jesus disgusted with this?  Is this what he meant by being lukewarm, desiring God but exchanging him for something else? 

I dont believe that this is entirely me, however.  I think it is all apart of the growing in Christ Jesus.  I am reminded of Peter (mainly because I just spent the last two days writing on him), who had all the desire for Jesus he could muster, but when rubber met the pavement, he was left remembering himself.  If you don’t believe me, check out the Gospel narrative of the Last Supper and the denial.  He tells Jesus, “May it never be! I would die beside you.”  Then, literally in the same evening/morning he denies affiliation with Christ not once, but THREE TIMES!  When it came down to it, Peter was mainly concerned with himself more than he was the things of God.

I think this is basically where we all must come to.  Realization that the road that we journey on with Jesus will probably lead to our earthly demise and will require that we cease being fanatical and just be obedient.  In all Peter’s fanaticism and theatrics, it didn’t amount to the obedience it takes to accomplish great things.  It isn’t until Jesus reconciles and rebuilds Peter that he becomes everything Jesus knew he could be. 

I think every moment that Peter spent with Jesus he yearned to please him.  There was this deep, profound, gut wrenching desire to always do as Jesus would want.  What Peter thought Jesus would want from him was in fact not what Jesus needed from him.  He just wanted Peter to be obedient, and to wait on the Lord for all he needed.  When Peter tried on his own is when he always landed on his face. 

Faceplants are good for one thing… putting you on your hands and knees before Jesus.

 

On actually having faith…

Blogging is an artform for which I wish I had more time and energy to give towards.  I always feel as though I am accomplishing something when I blog.  Though, probably close to no one reads my blog, except my wife, who constantly barrages me with insults on my lack of blogging because she apparently has the perserverance to do it almost every day.  Well, honey, I don’t. 

But, I am today, so here it goes.

Well, I am in almost constant struggle with feeling secure about my place in life.  For whatever reason there is, I seem so love to bear every stress that comes my way.  Secretly, quietly, so discreet that I believe almost no one notices it.  Am I stronger for it?  Or am I delusional for believing that I can do so with no affect to my life or sphere of influence?

No.  I am not stronger.  I am however delusional. Fortresses of Solitude are weak.  “A strand of three cords is not easily broken.” Runs through my mind almost constantly.  I have come to the realization that the essential element in the existence of the Church is the simple fact of people teaching other people how to be strong in vulnerability.  I can not be weak on my own.  On my own, I convince myself I have to be strong.  No one likes a wimp after all.  But, within a community of like minded individuals, there exists the ability to be your absolute strongest in showing your weakness.  Because when this happens, you show your brothers that it is ok to be weak, to feel weak, to have moments of complete and utter disaster, in the hopes of the promise of Jesus Christ very spirit to uplift us.  To keep us going.  I mean, this is “Standing on the promises of God.”

I think for all the hymns that are written by men who appear to be champions of faith, and for all those from previous generations that admire those hymns so much, that it is simply ludicrous that we are not able to live life much the way those hymn writers did.  That, their faith and practice was not just passed on to us in a song, but that a method of understanding the character of God, knowing full well that He will make good on His Word, was not also passed through the doting people who pine over the words and music that they have written.

O to have faith like the man who wrote “It Is Well”.  To have such an overwhelming sense of comfort in the face of my greatest fear.  To understand and practice that there is a God who is greater than all my fear, troubles, and stress.  Faith is a hard thing to do, when it comes down to actually having it.

 

Oh, the end is nigh!

I am like four or five weeks from ending my post-graduate career.  I am going to have, in my possession, a conferred Master’s Degree. 

I would, henceforth from being conferred, like and appreciate being called,

 

 

MASTER Matthew J. Bruns, the 1st.

 

Making ritual habitual.

I don’t really have any rituals that I go through.  Every morning when I wake up, I use the restroom, then, depending on how much time I have, I take a shower and what not.  Don’t really eat breakfast on a regular basis, which may or may not contribute to the current rate of my metabolism.  Don’t really watch TV, cause my wife usually has the Today show on, which only 3 notes ago I expressed how much of an idiot Matt Lauer is.  So, each morning, I watch to see if he will prove me right, and he does.

Usually though, I just come out in the living room, and play with my daughter a bit.  My life is not one that is intricately planned out.   Each of my steps is not really a piece of a much greater puzzle.  I don’t plan to play with my daughter, I just do.  I don’t think, “I can’t wait for Matt Lauer to be an idiot.” He just is.   I am very laid back in my approach to things.  Just waiting to see what happens next.

But, that doesn’t resonate entirely throughout my life.  See, while the mundane is not a well thought out construction of events to further my success, the important things are a different story.  I have had this idea of what I would be doing with my life for about 10 years now.  And I am crazy excited that it may happen soon.   Just not soon enough.

I get all crazy on the inside waiting for things.  Not just anything though, only big things.  I didn’t really sleep for the 2 days before my daughter was born.  Then I didn’t sleep 3 days after she was born.  I can’t sleep on Christmas Eve.   This past year was the first time, and it was because I had a one month old.  Parents will understand what I am saying.  Now I am waiting for big things to happen, and I am all knots on the inside.  My wife commented how everytime my cell phone rings, I get all excited or tense or something to that effect and I am let down when it isn’t what or who I am expecting.   This happens everyday and I don’t know how to stop it.

But I think I am habitually this way.  When something big is about to happen, that is when I get serious about it.  It stirs me to act in ways that I typically do not.  I do things differently than how I was doing them before.  Everything is pretensed with a new action, somehow and hopefully designed to make whatever big thing may come, happen.

I don’t fully understand the will of God.  I am coming to think it is definetly not a destination, or formula.  I don’t really think that God even has a specific idea as to what He would like us to do.  I do know, that the chief concern of God is God.  I know that He looks for a seeks glory in everything, and that if something is not going to glorify Him, He will get glory some other way. 

I do think however, that God is not concerned with what it is that we are doing.  But, more so, wants us to understand that we should pursue that which will bring us and others closer to Him.  In whatver we do, it should be done knowing that this will some how affect my own and others understanding of God and who He is.  God has expressed himself in a way that says, “I want to know you; I want to be personally envolved in every endeavor that you undertake.  I want to be the first to know when you are joyful and when you need comfort.  I want to be so involved that you can not imagine going through life without me being involved.  In the words of cheap trick, ‘I want you to want me.’ “  Not in a weird way, or that way that church girls mean when they say, “I’m dating Jesus.”  (*sidebar, Dating Jesus does not work.  You can’t date him, because he is betrothed to the Church. That would make him a “womanizer” and we all know Jesus wouldn’t do that, and if He were that you wouldn’t want to date Him.)

I fully believe (though struggle to understand and employ) that God’s will revolves around our knowing Him and our relationship with Him.  When life happens, we shouldn’t be calling Allstate or Nationwide, God wants to know and be involved.  With coming to know Him, we begin to understand who we are better, what we were meant for and what we can become.  We begin to desire the ideal that He had for us.  Then, we can journey with Him toward it and be instrumental in making that happen. 

I don’t know if any of this has made sense, but I am rusty.  Please give me time.