Blogging is an artform for which I wish I had more time and energy to give towards. I always feel as though I am accomplishing something when I blog. Though, probably close to no one reads my blog, except my wife, who constantly barrages me with insults on my lack of blogging because she apparently has the perserverance to do it almost every day. Well, honey, I don’t.
But, I am today, so here it goes.
Well, I am in almost constant struggle with feeling secure about my place in life. For whatever reason there is, I seem so love to bear every stress that comes my way. Secretly, quietly, so discreet that I believe almost no one notices it. Am I stronger for it? Or am I delusional for believing that I can do so with no affect to my life or sphere of influence?
No. I am not stronger. I am however delusional. Fortresses of Solitude are weak. “A strand of three cords is not easily broken.” Runs through my mind almost constantly. I have come to the realization that the essential element in the existence of the Church is the simple fact of people teaching other people how to be strong in vulnerability. I can not be weak on my own. On my own, I convince myself I have to be strong. No one likes a wimp after all. But, within a community of like minded individuals, there exists the ability to be your absolute strongest in showing your weakness. Because when this happens, you show your brothers that it is ok to be weak, to feel weak, to have moments of complete and utter disaster, in the hopes of the promise of Jesus Christ very spirit to uplift us. To keep us going. I mean, this is “Standing on the promises of God.”
I think for all the hymns that are written by men who appear to be champions of faith, and for all those from previous generations that admire those hymns so much, that it is simply ludicrous that we are not able to live life much the way those hymn writers did. That, their faith and practice was not just passed on to us in a song, but that a method of understanding the character of God, knowing full well that He will make good on His Word, was not also passed through the doting people who pine over the words and music that they have written.
O to have faith like the man who wrote “It Is Well”. To have such an overwhelming sense of comfort in the face of my greatest fear. To understand and practice that there is a God who is greater than all my fear, troubles, and stress. Faith is a hard thing to do, when it comes down to actually having it.
